My Demons Pt. II

I am bisexual.

That is to say my sexual is both sectional

And also unmarked

As I traverse the dark we begin with the stark

Genesis of being even a little bit queer,

In a place where everyone seems really unclear

On how to handle the fact that there are people that exist who are fucking different than you.

I was called a faggot way before I thought I might be one

And was ready to be done

Jumping out of a tree sounds fun.

But no it doesn’t

It wasn’t

So much that I was how I was

It’s that even to this very day I feel the buzz

That what I am is wrong, greedy, confused, and other fascinating adjectives

In opinions quite subjective to truth.

Objectively

I would posit that you should shut the fuck up and focus on things you can actually comprehend,

I will apprehend my ability to not care who you fuck, for you I suggest the likewise.

It is frustrating to be misunderstood

And vindicating at the unlikelihood

Of my presence

A precedent set at the precipice of full awareness

Ride or die

Fall or fly

You will get stepped on when you travel

And unravel the threads of the quilt

But don’t listen to the rabble rabble of the chattle cattle.

Words created without thought hold no place in my realm

I will be alone at the helm of the ss go fuck yourself

Go ahead put yourself on the highest shelf

Down here is where the cool kids chill

Seeking truth and knowledge and getting our fill

Its kind of a deal we made

Choosing to be intelligent and aware

And dealing with the negativity to that line of thinking

That living

In America brings.

I’ve come a lot closer to peace with what I am

But damn sometimes I just wish it was one way or the other

Like so, so many of my earth brothers

From many loving mothers

I haven’t really met many like me

Despite me trying.

I’m such a fucking unicorn that I’m near invisible

Not to be too literal

I have to see that I’m blessed

Part 2 motherfucker I put my Demons to rest.

Six minutes of how my mind works

Hm. Fuck.

I can’t think of anything

Though thinking of that was thinking of something

Recognition of nothing

As recognized

Deluxe double fuck yeah fries

Sometimes I think I’ve died inside

But really I just forget that I’ve never been more alive

Never had more drive

To survive

Now I thrive.

Emerald Light abounds

Secrets continue to profound

The sting of solitaire pledge

Has still not lost its edge

But changing perspective is a good directive to ones objective

Making change effective

Whoah

Mind blown

But I’m only reaping the seeds that I’ve sown

I’m only translating into human words

All the things I’ve been shown

Curveballs thrown from the throne

Of the Gods

Hit it out of the park

And see the Gods nod

Respect is always earned

Seemingly difficult to learn

The Burn

Of not receiving respect given fucking sucks

Choosing your battles

Is choosing where to give your fucks

Or to even give them at all.

To just sit and sip your coffee

And watch Rome fall

It will, trust me

Whatever the Roman metaphor means to be

Its attempted eloquently

But I wonder if I come off more pretentiously

My message of respect, love, and light

But if you perceive pretension

That is just my lights reflection off of your ethereal mirror

Has anything become clearer?

I visit a Seer every night in my dreams

I just don’t think I’m deemed worthy to remember

Yet, I don’t know

Maybe not

Worth a shot

I guess it beats the rest of the alternatives

The mental self-sacrilege

Package it

Wrap it

In three layers of plastic

And dick-slap you with it

The screams just a daily symphony

Of the people lined up for their lobotomies.

Everyone

Is

Broken

Somewhere

Could be here

Or there

That’s not what’s at hand

Taking command of that realization

Supporting each other comes into the equation.

Our thoughts are interwoven as fabric

Collective thought energy like static

Can you feel it,

Raising your arm hairs

Gaining insight to your petty cares

Those little energy flares

Chakra imbalances,

Long stares for being one who dances

One who chances against life and death,

Take a deep breath

Thank the goddess it’s not your last

That you haven’t gotten lost to the demons of your past

The things you’ve cast aside

The times your faith in humanity belied you

And tried you

Had nothing to do

With anything true

Nothing to do with you, little hummingbird

When you cast light like this

You will get many broken reflections back

A fat stack

Of mirrors out of whack

There are times

When the weights a bit heavy

I just keep rockin’ rhymes

And keep rockin’ steady

Energy burst forth like a cannon of confetti

Flying through life like Mario Andretti

I’m ready for anything

And down for whatever

Open up your mind

And pull the fucking lever

Neverwinter

Got a splinter

What the fuck is Tinder?

Hindrance in  evidence

Circumspect

Back to respect

And the effect of getting wrecked

Which demands a certain respect itself.

Losing control is nothing to be taken lightly

Rightly so the same could be said for gaining.

In a reality where truth is waning

Societies self-shaming prolific

The shit’s horrific

It makes me sick

Bite-size pieces of politics

The rhetoric’s ridiculous

The reveloution’s inconspicuous

The trick you just tried

With no conviction in mind

Eating this watermelon down to the rind?

Now that kind of commitment can be hard to find

That particular tilt of mind can mean greatness

But watch out for fake-ness

Know that it can’t shake this awareness

You’ve created,

Obligated to make the haters feel deflated

I deflate them with love

Even a little is enough

When you’ve lived your whole life in darknes\Bs

Even a matchstick can blind you

Remember narrow-neck?

Kinda like that, but with your third eye

Beautiful birds fly by

And I’m super high

Flying with them

Fully embrace the Earth Mothers’ rhythm

Never quittin’ this vision spittin’

Well I suppose I’ll quit at the end of the page

Six minutes is only so long to rage

So take in Sage

Smoke when you can

It’s knowledge I seek

I’ll be back next week,

With poetry unseen

So PLUR motherfuckers.

And stay classy Eugene!

 

 

Written 7/10/15 Specifically to be read at a weekly poetry open mic based in Eugene, Oregon.

 

Releasing Chains / 7/3/15

Thoughts of the Mystic

Third eye going ballistic

Rick James ain’t got shit on this

You tried to throw your hater-aide on me

And you missed

Dissed yourself

But I just keep on trolling

Sprinkle the keif of your knowledge on this blunt that I’m rolling

This reality we’re controlling

Molding

Into our human experience

Creations of clairvoyance

Troubled by my human annoyance

There’s a lot of dust I gotta shake off-a my chakras

As they’ve not been used a lot recently.

Such reason almost treason

As I let the world have its way with my brain for too long time

Deadening my sine frequency

To the next one

The hex done now that I’ve Woken

The knowledge has been spoken

And I’m no longer choking

On the smokescreen of distractions

Creations of Grand Faction

And I’m just like where in the fuck is the passion?

I come back to the place it all began, and I kinda see where it is.

Er well rather where it is not.

‘Tis not this spot, sadly.

I wanted it so badly

To love her madly

I suppose in some way I do,

Though I was made here, I was not meant for you

To consume

County of Coos, at first

It seems like everything is really chill

Everyone just keeping it trill

But for real:

Everyone moves slow

Because they don’t have anywhere to go.

They’re trapped in a four mile radius of their own reality

Own parameter of acceptable brainwave

I was once a slave to the

Deprave

Deprive

Depress

Decease

I release

The chains

But what remains

Is the ability to see with new light

But with the phantom pains of the steel that dug into my wrist

They persist

I resist.

Energy ventriloquist

Yeah, I’d be fucking pissed too.

But my Karma’s past due

I will not let my curses overtake me

I will not let a hater shake me

when I can make the earth quake

I

Spirit Bomb your ignorant argument

Tryna start shit

Imminent

But your stupid sign is way more prominent

Than you’d like to think, little sheep

Though I pray for you to awaken,

For your soul to be taken

Up to ascendance

True resplendence

And for you to bathe in the decadence

You have created.

 

 

-Koy

 

Shadow / 7-15

Oi vey I naysay and play to the crowd, the first thing you’ll learn about me is I do not fuck around, never lost and never found finding new sound in the underground children of ancient philosophical plans, visioned tropical sands manifest.

Manifesting power to fight what you’re detesting and second guessing the best things of blessings ever present in each present moment using present tense as if I could pause a second and talk about it for a minute.

Grand Mother’s clock always tick tocking, a false perception of light and dark never stopping, ever rocking to and fro, fantastic dog and pony show, a golf clap given in honor of such illusion orchestrated (clap)

Statue created, masses sated, and both George Bushes masturbated furiously and yet

curiously

It went off without a hitch, they rocked that bitch without a stitch and all of their friends got rich.

Well, richer.

To paint the picture properly half the planet, and 45 million of this country in poverty doesn’t seem to be that big of problem to them, so all the people who want to address it can’t and all the people who can address it won’t, because they don’t give two shits and popsicle about anyone outside their yacht club.

So yeah motherfucker, sit up there in your tall Roman towers, tell us to eat cake and take your golden showers. But Rome wasn’t built in a day, it sure as fuck won’t crumble in one either, you don’t have to be a believer.

It’s your choice how loud your voice is, and how much you decide to change your own reality, how well you merge the fighting dualities.

In our community of beautiful creativity we have the power to change the universe, remove the curse and disperse shadow with light when you see there is no difference between the two, you’re only perceiving it.

Superiority Complex / Not Dated

So I was walking out of 711 a bit ago, a family at the Redbox, a little boy indicates what he wants to see, mother says no, that’s a documentary.

No no, Johnny, you don’t get to educate yourself, you want two hours of computer generated explosions, a trojan horse if you will, in the sense that shit can only rot your brain if you let it in.

But that kid, and all kids don’t have any say in what they learn, they just do, so whatever is around them is true to them.

I mean this isn’t anything that hasn’t already been said, but I’ve usually just felt this way about religion and such, I just feel bad for these kids that just become little puppet dogma clones of their ancestors, like they never had a chance to see anything else.

But this is knowledge we’re talking about here, desire to make the world more clear.

The sheer idiocy of maintaining your offspring are as stupid if not stupider than you doesn’t make any sense.

I remember the day my father apologized for passing on his superiority complex, his beer gut convex he chuckled when I asked what he meant.

Not what the complex meant, but why he was sorry for it, for raising me to be intelligent enough to see this bullshit for what it is, and that a lot of people legitimately can’t see the difference between their elbow and a hole in the ground.

“Well…” He thought for a second. “Some people would put themselves on a steeple to look down upon and hate the sheeple, but only for pure ego, and as far as we go, I’m just glad you didn’t do that with the gift I gave you.”

 

 

Thank you!

Koy